In all seriousness, the manufacturer states this device is "our most marvellous invention to date, one that even Telsa himself would be proud of. A teleportation device which can transport the user distances of up to 500 yards!" So, the only way you'd be transported to Delaware is if you're already within 500 yards of Delaware. Which would suck any way you look at it.
Apparently, "The device has a 99.7% chance of turning the user inside out on re-assembly through teleportation. Teleport at your own risk!" Something about rearranging my matter doesn't sound appealing to me. Fortunately, at $130, I can't spare the cash for that fun ride. Perhaps you want to take a spin? Visit Etsy to find out how.
Trevor's Rating of the Steampunk Plasma Teleportation Device: 80%
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